The Kinfe Before Christmas

The Kinfe before Christmas

  A winter's mourning

 was foggy and cold

Twas the knife before Christmas 


Outside darkness 

Rain drops fall

Bear sits beside me or on window sill


IVs and constant beeps 

Loudspeaker blares, about another code red


Trying to eat 

Just please someone stop all these beeps 


Stapled together 

Trying to sleep

My body is tired 

The mind won’t shut down


Walking the same hall 

Repeat 

Repeat 

Repeat

Bear sits in window 

While we still try to sleep


Popsicles and ice cream

Blood tests and Ivs 

Here we go walking the same hall again


Nausea wristbands 

Code red again

Rain outside window 

The world is out there somewhere


Medical aid rabbit sits Beside bear trying to bring comfort 


Misery and pain

Stuck in bed


Home and back again

Too sick to care


Walk the halls 


Bear and rabbit back in the same hall again


Winters fear

Stuck in bed again


Gratitude for a life twice saved

Yet still I mourn the knife before Christmas


Tired of the same room, 

Walk the halls


Bear, rabbit and I finally come home again


Staples are out

And the strips fall


Time to rest

Time to heal


Scar will last a lifetime 

I prefer it to death


Dumb Chrstmas films to pass the time


To a new year 2020 time of mourning


Memories return in waves 

What was lost

What could have been

Or maybe it never could have been? 


Remembering Bear's stories read to bear and I as we lay in bed


Scar reminder 


Mourning breaks 

Tears fall again


Beeps are mere memories

IvS are gone

Housebound this Christmas

But at least I’m at home


No more code reds 

Or IV pulls

Not stuck in bed, I can go walk in the cold


Mourning will happen again and again


Here’s to the knife before 

May it never come again! 










 

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